1 00:00:02,979 --> 00:00:04,214 ? ? 2 00:00:04,315 --> 00:00:06,617 (cheering) 3 00:00:06,717 --> 00:00:09,386 Okay, Danica, spill the beans. 4 00:00:09,486 --> 00:00:11,888 Where are we going for my bachelorette party, hmm? 5 00:00:11,988 --> 00:00:15,091 Burlesque seafood buffet in Reno? 6 00:00:15,191 --> 00:00:17,761 The theme was going to be "Trapped in a Mine." 7 00:00:17,861 --> 00:00:20,531 You know, because marriage is a trap. 8 00:00:20,631 --> 00:00:22,265 But Carly vetoed my idea 9 00:00:22,366 --> 00:00:24,668 without so much as a petite rendezvous. 10 00:00:24,768 --> 00:00:28,071 We are going to... 11 00:00:28,171 --> 00:00:30,240 Ohio! 12 00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,344 I said... 13 00:00:33,444 --> 00:00:35,446 Ohio! 14 00:00:35,546 --> 00:00:37,881 We heard you. 15 00:00:37,981 --> 00:00:40,417 Wait. Are we gonna be on my favorite TV show 16 00:00:40,517 --> 00:00:41,585 Toledo House Flip? 17 00:00:41,685 --> 00:00:43,454 No. 18 00:00:44,287 --> 00:00:47,090 But we are going to the "Party Like They Do 19 00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:50,827 on Toledo House Flip Experience." 20 00:00:51,528 --> 00:00:53,530 You know how gals go to New York 21 00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,231 to do the Sex and the City tours? 22 00:00:55,332 --> 00:00:58,234 So, it's gonna be exactly like that, except we're going to be 23 00:00:58,335 --> 00:01:02,305 "remodeling" a house in the Midwest. 24 00:01:02,406 --> 00:01:04,741 We're gonna have so much fun. 25 00:01:04,841 --> 00:01:06,276 Placing succulents in corners, 26 00:01:06,377 --> 00:01:09,646 and choosing between zebra and giraffe wallpaper. 27 00:01:09,746 --> 00:01:13,750 And screwing in Edison light bulbs while drinking mimosas. 28 00:01:13,850 --> 00:01:16,653 So you changed the entire weekend on a whim? 29 00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:18,889 Classic Carly. 30 00:01:19,756 --> 00:01:23,894 Don't worry. I approved Carly's itinerary, which means a lot 31 00:01:23,994 --> 00:01:26,029 because I'm the queen of bachelorette parties. 32 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,898 You've been a maid of honor before? 33 00:01:27,998 --> 00:01:31,435 14 times. All featured in Bachelorette Party magazine. 34 00:01:31,535 --> 00:01:32,869 Self-published. 35 00:01:34,905 --> 00:01:36,540 Hey. Did you tell her? 36 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,208 Did you tell her? Did she freak out? 37 00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,210 Did she... flip? 38 00:01:41,276 --> 00:01:42,779 Yoo-hoo, Freddie, a word? 39 00:01:42,879 --> 00:01:45,215 Hey, um, question. 40 00:01:46,115 --> 00:01:48,251 When you hear "Classic Carly"... 41 00:01:48,351 --> 00:01:50,853 Oh, no. My mom said "Classic Carly"? 42 00:01:50,954 --> 00:01:52,722 Why, what does it mean? 43 00:01:52,823 --> 00:01:55,058 My mom kind of thinks that you're... 44 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,969 impulsive, unreliable, disrespectful to elders, 45 00:01:56,993 --> 00:01:58,728 and prone to hijacking a weekend. 46 00:01:58,829 --> 00:02:00,230 Is that all? 47 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,298 No. She also thinks you have poor posture. 48 00:02:02,399 --> 00:02:03,734 But that's all. 49 00:02:04,835 --> 00:02:06,903 I am going to prove to her this weekend 50 00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,172 that I am respectful, reliable, 51 00:02:09,272 --> 00:02:11,575 and that I can stand up straight. 52 00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:13,176 God, my spine burns. 53 00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:16,846 Don't worry, okay? She's gonna love it. 54 00:02:16,947 --> 00:02:19,550 Have fun. I love you. 55 00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,251 And I love you, Millicent. 56 00:02:22,453 --> 00:02:24,387 - Millicent? - Bye. 57 00:02:24,488 --> 00:02:26,089 Fredward, I just... 58 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,090 Bye, Danica. 59 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,025 - Take care, Harps. - Oh. 60 00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:32,663 And now a goodbye to the one I'm going to miss the most... 61 00:02:32,763 --> 00:02:34,264 Ooh. 62 00:02:34,364 --> 00:02:35,365 Carly. 63 00:02:35,466 --> 00:02:37,801 (laughing) 64 00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:40,904 Sorry, what did you want to tell me, Mom? 65 00:02:41,004 --> 00:02:42,439 I don't recall. 66 00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:44,841 Then it must not have been important. (chuckles) 67 00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:46,443 See ya, Mama. Hang loose. 68 00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:48,579 Hang looser. 69 00:02:48,679 --> 00:02:50,714 (sighs) 70 00:02:50,814 --> 00:02:52,883 Classic Carly. 71 00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,522 ? I know ? 72 00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:00,156 ? You see ? 73 00:03:00,256 --> 00:03:02,225 ? Somehow the world will change for me ? 74 00:03:02,325 --> 00:03:05,496 ? And be so wonderful ? 75 00:03:05,596 --> 00:03:09,165 ? So wake up the members of my nation ? 76 00:03:09,265 --> 00:03:11,367 ? It's your time to be ? 77 00:03:11,468 --> 00:03:14,471 ? There's no chance unless you take one ? 78 00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:16,807 ? And the time to see the brighter side ? 79 00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:20,376 ? Of every situation ? 80 00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,345 ? Some things are meant to be ? 81 00:03:22,445 --> 00:03:27,183 ? So give your best and leave the rest to me. ? 82 00:03:27,283 --> 00:03:31,254 ? ? 83 00:03:32,221 --> 00:03:34,891 How fun is flying Southwest? 84 00:03:34,991 --> 00:03:37,794 You never know where you're gonna sit. 85 00:03:37,894 --> 00:03:41,064 And yet somehow I ended up next to you. 86 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:44,501 Is this a murder house? 87 00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:45,902 (all scream) 88 00:03:46,002 --> 00:03:48,971 (singsongy): There was never a conviction. 89 00:03:49,072 --> 00:03:55,345 Hi. So, the brochure made it seem less, um, meth-y? 90 00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:58,148 And I'm very dependable, 91 00:03:58,248 --> 00:04:01,384 so I wouldn't have booked something meth-y. 92 00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:05,088 You're saying meth a lot. Let me see your teeth. 93 00:04:06,489 --> 00:04:07,858 Welcome, ladies. 94 00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:10,894 I'm Emily Haines, and I'm honored you booked 95 00:04:10,994 --> 00:04:15,732 the "Party Like They Do on Toledo House Flip Experience." 96 00:04:15,832 --> 00:04:18,468 Rehabbing a home is good for the soul. 97 00:04:18,569 --> 00:04:19,969 Talk to Carly about rehab, 98 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,539 she's the one who's babbling on about meth. 99 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,841 This is the bride, Marissa. 100 00:04:24,941 --> 00:04:26,342 I'm the maid of honor. 101 00:04:26,442 --> 00:04:27,978 One would think I would've been the one 102 00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:29,488 to pick what we're doing this weekend, 103 00:04:29,512 --> 00:04:30,881 but one would be wrong. 104 00:04:32,182 --> 00:04:34,384 Now, I just need one member of the group 105 00:04:34,484 --> 00:04:36,553 to sign here so we can get started. 106 00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:40,724 I know it's called "Party Like They Do on Toledo House Flip," 107 00:04:40,824 --> 00:04:42,793 but it's strange because it seems like 108 00:04:42,893 --> 00:04:45,862 we're about to be doing actual labor? 109 00:04:45,962 --> 00:04:49,165 Relax, it's all part of the experience. 110 00:04:49,265 --> 00:04:53,737 Plus, you get to wear jumpsuits! 111 00:04:53,837 --> 00:04:55,271 Oh, good. 112 00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:58,875 Manual labor and you're making it harder for me to pee. 113 00:04:58,975 --> 00:05:03,146 Never underestimate the power of women in pink jumpsuits. 114 00:05:03,246 --> 00:05:04,781 Amen. 115 00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:07,550 Now, hand over your phones. 116 00:05:07,651 --> 00:05:09,886 When we unplug from the world, 117 00:05:09,986 --> 00:05:11,755 we plug in with each other. 118 00:05:11,855 --> 00:05:13,990 Ooh, plug language. 119 00:05:14,691 --> 00:05:16,235 I definitely want to plug in with y'all. 120 00:05:16,259 --> 00:05:19,229 So, hand them over, ladies. 121 00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:25,468 Where we're going, we don't need phones. 122 00:05:25,568 --> 00:05:27,771 It's weird. For someone so claustrophobic, 123 00:05:27,871 --> 00:05:31,141 you sure do enjoy invading others' personal space. 124 00:05:32,809 --> 00:05:34,845 ? ? 125 00:05:36,246 --> 00:05:38,581 4.2% ABV? 126 00:05:38,682 --> 00:05:40,617 Well, I guess it is a Saturday. 127 00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:41,718 Oh! 128 00:05:41,818 --> 00:05:42,853 - Aah! - Lewbert. 129 00:05:42,953 --> 00:05:44,354 What the hell are you doing? 130 00:05:44,454 --> 00:05:46,890 Well, Marissa said you'd throw me a bachelor party. 131 00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:48,291 Didn't she tell you? 132 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,926 (sighs) I think she tried to. 133 00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:52,829 What's in the growler? 134 00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:54,564 Oh, a family recipe: 135 00:05:54,665 --> 00:05:55,932 Lewb Juice. 136 00:05:56,032 --> 00:05:57,133 It's a delicious libation 137 00:05:57,233 --> 00:06:00,536 and a darn strong foot exfoliant. 138 00:06:00,637 --> 00:06:01,905 Shall I pour? 139 00:06:02,005 --> 00:06:04,808 That's gross and I don't want to do this 140 00:06:04,908 --> 00:06:06,677 and I'm mad at my mom now. 141 00:06:06,777 --> 00:06:08,111 Okay. You know, 142 00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:09,722 Marissa said your unreliable girlfriend 143 00:06:09,746 --> 00:06:11,748 would rub off on you. 144 00:06:11,848 --> 00:06:13,784 Classic Carly. 145 00:06:13,884 --> 00:06:17,253 Wait. Fine. I'll give you a party. 146 00:06:17,353 --> 00:06:18,922 Who do you want me to invite? 147 00:06:19,022 --> 00:06:20,256 (grunting) 148 00:06:21,658 --> 00:06:23,894 (phone ringing) 149 00:06:25,962 --> 00:06:27,664 Hello? 150 00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:29,532 Hey, man, you busy? 151 00:06:29,632 --> 00:06:31,401 No, what's up? 152 00:06:31,501 --> 00:06:33,203 Apparently, my mom promised Lewbert 153 00:06:33,303 --> 00:06:35,105 I would throw him a bachelor party tonight. 154 00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:36,807 Oh, hey, hey, can I invite Paul? 155 00:06:36,907 --> 00:06:39,309 He seems like somebody I can pretend to like IPAs with. 156 00:06:39,409 --> 00:06:42,612 Yeah, sure, he's an additional human male. 157 00:06:42,713 --> 00:06:45,181 In five, four, three... 158 00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:49,519 ? This is The Paul Show, and I am Paul ? 159 00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:50,486 (phone ringing) 160 00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:52,522 Damn it, when is it my turn? 161 00:06:53,623 --> 00:06:57,961 You've got Paul, manager, impresario, size 15 shoe. 162 00:06:58,061 --> 00:07:00,330 Oh, yeah, we're gonna be friends. 163 00:07:00,430 --> 00:07:03,033 Oh, hey, what's up, man? It's Spencer Shay. 164 00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:06,703 Uh, yeah, I was just wondering, uh, you into bachelor parties? 165 00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:08,839 Oh, I'm not into bachelor parties. 166 00:07:08,939 --> 00:07:11,407 I'm the king of bachelor parties. 167 00:07:11,507 --> 00:07:13,609 How soon can you be in my apartment? 168 00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:15,378 Oh, an hour. I-I'm upstairs 169 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:18,548 but I got to go home and get my poppers. 170 00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,383 Zut alors. 171 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:24,120 I didn't realize this would be so physical. 172 00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:26,689 It's not so bad. 173 00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:30,260 Normally, people pay $50 to do hungover Pilates. 174 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,329 This is just like that, only with more tetanus. 175 00:07:33,429 --> 00:07:37,300 If I get tetanus, can I sit down? 176 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:41,637 You know what? Let's play a game. 177 00:07:43,606 --> 00:07:49,379 And the name of the game that I'm about to say is... 178 00:07:50,313 --> 00:07:52,582 "Truth or Hammer!" 179 00:07:52,682 --> 00:07:56,887 Oh, yes. The famous party game that everyone knows. 180 00:07:56,987 --> 00:08:03,059 Truth or Hammer is a very real game that exists... 181 00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:08,731 where we go around and ask each other penetrating questions. 182 00:08:08,832 --> 00:08:12,468 And if anyone doesn't want to answer, 183 00:08:12,568 --> 00:08:17,073 then it's hammer time. (laughs) 184 00:08:17,173 --> 00:08:20,410 Wow, that actually kind of made sense. 185 00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:23,847 And as Bachelorette Party Tsarina, 186 00:08:23,947 --> 00:08:28,618 I brought Mrs. B's favorite libation. Grenadine! 187 00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:29,920 (cheering) 188 00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:33,989 Shots! Shots! Non-alcoholic shots! 189 00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:36,658 Wow, is this party iconic or what? 190 00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:42,232 Danica, have you ever flirted with a man you knew was taken? 191 00:08:42,331 --> 00:08:45,201 Oui oui. But the French never kiss and tell. 192 00:08:45,301 --> 00:08:47,203 You're from Idaho. 193 00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:49,405 I guess it's hammer time. 194 00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:51,041 (cheering) 195 00:08:53,944 --> 00:08:56,446 (cheering) 196 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,383 Okay. Harper! 197 00:09:03,353 --> 00:09:06,056 Who is your best kiss? 198 00:09:06,156 --> 00:09:10,927 Ooh, you want me to choose between 100... lies... 300 people? 199 00:09:11,027 --> 00:09:12,795 It's hammer time! 200 00:09:12,896 --> 00:09:14,831 (cheering) 201 00:09:16,532 --> 00:09:18,734 (cheering) 202 00:09:18,835 --> 00:09:20,703 Okay, Carly's turn. 203 00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:23,739 What's the most romantic place you've been with Freddie? 204 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,275 - (growls) - Ooh. 205 00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:28,078 Oh. I know where it's going to be. 206 00:09:28,178 --> 00:09:29,479 (snarls) 207 00:09:29,579 --> 00:09:32,515 Freddie's taking me on a two-day cruise... 208 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:33,749 (growls) 209 00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:34,951 to Jamaica... 210 00:09:35,051 --> 00:09:36,052 (yells) 211 00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:37,954 on the second Sunday in May. 212 00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:40,056 Mother's Day weekend?! 213 00:09:40,156 --> 00:09:41,757 (screaming) 214 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,429 Why wasn't I invited? 215 00:09:46,529 --> 00:09:49,699 Because that would be weird. 216 00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:52,002 Oh, no. Not weird. 217 00:09:52,102 --> 00:09:54,704 No, that's so normal. 218 00:09:54,804 --> 00:09:56,406 Come with, girlfriend. 219 00:09:56,506 --> 00:09:58,374 We can even set up a cot in the cabin. 220 00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:02,278 - (growls) - That I will be sleeping on. 221 00:10:02,378 --> 00:10:05,315 Marissa, let's put down the hammer. 222 00:10:05,415 --> 00:10:07,550 You're not storming the Bastille. 223 00:10:09,352 --> 00:10:11,421 I want to go home. 224 00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:12,889 (sobbing) 225 00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:17,860 Well, you tried, Carly. Poorly, but you tried. 226 00:10:17,961 --> 00:10:20,363 Ah, stay the course. 227 00:10:20,463 --> 00:10:22,465 This is a part of every bachelorette party: 228 00:10:22,565 --> 00:10:25,568 the bride must cry for no rhyme or reason. 229 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,837 You're doing great, sweetie. 230 00:10:27,938 --> 00:10:30,540 Screw this party. 231 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,209 I just wanted Mrs. B to like me. 232 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,712 Ladies, let's go. 233 00:10:38,014 --> 00:10:38,915 Oh, hey, girl. 234 00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:40,416 (screams) 235 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,385 Where do you think you're going? 236 00:10:42,485 --> 00:10:44,354 You're trapped. 237 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,829 - Trapped? - Perhaps I was being a dot dramatic. 238 00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:55,431 You can leave anytime. 239 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:56,967 Once the house is flipped. 240 00:10:57,067 --> 00:10:58,533 It's all explained here. 241 00:10:58,634 --> 00:11:02,072 That waiver? But none of us signed it except Carly. 242 00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:05,041 She signed for your entire group unilaterally. 243 00:11:05,942 --> 00:11:08,378 - Classic Carly. - Classic Carly. 244 00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:09,812 So now I'm what? 245 00:11:09,912 --> 00:11:12,182 Someone who signs waivers on behalf of a group? 246 00:11:12,282 --> 00:11:13,516 Yup. 247 00:11:13,616 --> 00:11:15,518 It's not a waiver. 248 00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:16,987 It's an employment contract. 249 00:11:17,087 --> 00:11:21,924 And that HGTV B-I-T-C-H has our phones. 250 00:11:22,025 --> 00:11:23,960 I say we smash that case. 251 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:25,028 EMILY: Go ahead. 252 00:11:25,128 --> 00:11:26,997 My fianc� made this lockbox, 253 00:11:27,097 --> 00:11:29,499 and he designed the deathtraps for the movie Saw. 254 00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:33,869 Ladies, you're just contracted construction workers 255 00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:36,906 until the home is done. Simple pimple. 256 00:11:37,007 --> 00:11:39,342 This contract doesn't include a minor's permit. 257 00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:41,744 I'm well-versed in Ohio's child labor laws. 258 00:11:41,844 --> 00:11:45,515 Guess that makes you my co-captain. 259 00:11:45,615 --> 00:11:46,949 You up for delineating tasks 260 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:49,085 while drinking cold sparkling apple cider? 261 00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:50,720 Keep the meaningless title. 262 00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:52,788 I accept the power and the juice. 263 00:11:52,888 --> 00:11:54,390 How long will this take? 264 00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:58,361 I left my mouse Julien with a bowl of food and a note. 265 00:11:58,461 --> 00:12:00,430 That mouse is dead. 266 00:12:01,497 --> 00:12:04,567 I had a party flip a house in two days. 267 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,702 Well, a 500-square-foot studio. 268 00:12:06,802 --> 00:12:11,474 Never underestimate the power of women in pink jumpsuits. 269 00:12:11,574 --> 00:12:13,443 Don't worry, we've got this. 270 00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:15,478 Because we, including me, 271 00:12:15,578 --> 00:12:19,015 are dependable, decisive, straight-spined gals. 272 00:12:19,115 --> 00:12:21,184 Oh, has anyone been up to the second floor? 273 00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:23,653 ALL: There's a second floor? 274 00:12:24,587 --> 00:12:29,025 Oh, I can't believe you went to all this trouble for me. 275 00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:32,262 Well, a boy's best friend is his mother. 276 00:12:32,362 --> 00:12:33,762 By the way, have you heard from her? 277 00:12:33,829 --> 00:12:35,298 Oh, not a peep. 278 00:12:35,398 --> 00:12:38,234 Although, sometimes Marissa pretends to go missing. 279 00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:42,004 It's sort of an elaborate psychosexual prank. You see... 280 00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:44,774 Now! For the love of God, now! 281 00:12:44,874 --> 00:12:46,276 ? ? 282 00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:49,112 Lock the doors and lower the blinds! 283 00:12:49,212 --> 00:12:53,383 It's bachelor party time! 284 00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:55,851 (whooping) 285 00:12:55,951 --> 00:13:00,223 Oh, it's happening! I'm the bachie! 286 00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:03,093 ALL (chanting): Bachie! Bachie! Bachie! 287 00:13:03,193 --> 00:13:05,395 (chanting continues) 288 00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:06,862 (yelling) 289 00:13:06,962 --> 00:13:08,764 All my friends are here! 290 00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:11,434 Best bachelor party ever! 291 00:13:11,534 --> 00:13:13,669 (cheering) 292 00:13:13,769 --> 00:13:15,671 So... 293 00:13:15,771 --> 00:13:17,573 what's next? 294 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,209 Next? 295 00:13:20,243 --> 00:13:21,611 This is the thing. 296 00:13:21,711 --> 00:13:23,346 Or... 297 00:13:24,614 --> 00:13:26,482 Lewb Juice? 298 00:13:27,317 --> 00:13:30,953 So, it's a drink and a foot exfoliant? 299 00:13:31,754 --> 00:13:33,332 You know, I thought Lewb Juice would taste terrible 300 00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:37,493 because the name, like Lewbert, is disgusting. 301 00:13:38,628 --> 00:13:40,096 - Lewbert is disgusting. - Yeah. 302 00:13:40,196 --> 00:13:41,531 You are disgusting. 303 00:13:42,332 --> 00:13:44,700 Does Lewb Juice make you mean? 304 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,202 No, it just makes you honest. 305 00:13:46,302 --> 00:13:47,803 Dissolves the skin off your feet 306 00:13:47,903 --> 00:13:49,872 and the filter off your brain. 307 00:13:49,972 --> 00:13:51,374 Go ahead, try to lie. 308 00:13:51,474 --> 00:13:54,944 I like Ben Affleck's back tattoo. I think it's hip. 309 00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:56,179 (gasps) 310 00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:58,314 That's incredible. 311 00:13:58,414 --> 00:14:00,015 I wish you weren't marrying my mother. 312 00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:01,984 I wish you weren't her son. 313 00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:03,986 Sometimes I wonder how far 314 00:14:04,086 --> 00:14:05,621 I can take this lovable goofball thing. 315 00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:07,056 Will I ever have to grow up? 316 00:14:07,157 --> 00:14:08,991 If I did, I'd want to be like you. 317 00:14:09,091 --> 00:14:11,361 Please, you're the cool one, Captain Charisma. 318 00:14:11,461 --> 00:14:12,528 Oh. 319 00:14:12,628 --> 00:14:13,663 (phone chimes) 320 00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:15,865 Oh, my God, no. 321 00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,509 Is it that bitch Trina from poison control? 322 00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:19,135 She said I could still drink Lewb Juice 323 00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:21,003 as long as I didn't sell it! 324 00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:23,339 Guys, this is an emergency. We got to go. 325 00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:25,841 - Oh, God! - My feet! 326 00:14:25,941 --> 00:14:26,842 - My feet! - It burns! 327 00:14:26,942 --> 00:14:28,911 I have friends. 328 00:14:29,011 --> 00:14:30,680 (groaning) 329 00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:36,452 Carly, you really know how to plan a bachelorette party. 330 00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:40,556 Danica, when you're done with the wall, paint my nails. 331 00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:42,692 (sobbing) 332 00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:44,160 Hey, hey. 333 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:45,595 At least the hard hats are pink. 334 00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:47,029 (whirring) 335 00:14:48,164 --> 00:14:50,300 Okay, ladies, quick vibe check. 336 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,736 The vibe? It's giving "hostage." 337 00:14:53,836 --> 00:14:56,906 Then it's time for Stockholm Syndrome because I'm thinking 338 00:14:57,006 --> 00:14:59,509 Scandinavian modern for these floors. 339 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:02,512 Then we need to go over a long list of other changes. 340 00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:06,716 Ugh, changes? Why can't things just stay the same? 341 00:15:06,816 --> 00:15:10,486 Same house, same walls, same little boy who kisses me 342 00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:15,291 on the cheek before anyone else when saying goodbye! 343 00:15:15,391 --> 00:15:18,628 Oh, this is about Freddie. 344 00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:20,162 Who's Freddie again? 345 00:15:20,263 --> 00:15:22,765 It's Carly's boyfriend and Millicent's dad. 346 00:15:22,865 --> 00:15:26,536 He was my son first! 347 00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,137 (yells) 348 00:15:29,071 --> 00:15:31,207 - Mrs. B, wait! - No, no. 349 00:15:31,307 --> 00:15:33,209 This is a part of it. 350 00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:37,012 Phase one, shots. Phase two, the bride wants to leave. 351 00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:38,324 Phase three, the coolest person 352 00:15:38,348 --> 00:15:39,649 at the party calms everyone down. 353 00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:41,251 That's what's currently happening. 354 00:15:41,351 --> 00:15:43,953 MRS. BENSON: Screw you, ladies! 355 00:15:44,053 --> 00:15:45,788 (cackling) 356 00:15:45,888 --> 00:15:48,891 Mrs. Benson, where are you? 357 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,660 You're kind of freaking us out. 358 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,696 - (staple gun clacking) - I'm in the walls, suckas! 359 00:15:53,796 --> 00:15:57,166 This is not a known phase. 360 00:16:03,406 --> 00:16:05,708 I can't sell this house with a woman in the wall. 361 00:16:05,808 --> 00:16:06,976 That's a $20,000 markdown. 362 00:16:07,076 --> 00:16:09,412 Wait, I thought you were an event planner. 363 00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:11,013 You're also the realtor? 364 00:16:11,113 --> 00:16:14,116 Damn, girl, you got capitalism figured out. 365 00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:15,851 If any of you ever want to leave, 366 00:16:15,951 --> 00:16:18,153 you better get her out of there. 367 00:16:18,954 --> 00:16:20,823 Now it looks like we're talking to something 368 00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:22,358 and not an actual wall. 369 00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:25,160 Mrs. B, I know you can hear me. 370 00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:27,597 MRS. BENSON: I can't hear you, Carly. 371 00:16:27,697 --> 00:16:29,699 We have to get you out of there. 372 00:16:29,799 --> 00:16:32,134 Leave me be. This is my safe space. 373 00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:34,937 Do most safe spaces have asbestos? 374 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,707 - Hey. - We're here! 375 00:16:41,711 --> 00:16:43,078 You came to rescue us? 376 00:16:43,178 --> 00:16:44,414 Yes, we did. 377 00:16:44,514 --> 00:16:46,349 Like four gallant kni-aah! 378 00:16:46,449 --> 00:16:47,517 (screaming) 379 00:16:47,617 --> 00:16:50,119 What in God's name is happening? 380 00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,322 We've been drinking Lewb Juice. 381 00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:55,358 It's a foot exfoliant, which is why we can't walk. 382 00:16:55,458 --> 00:16:57,760 It's also a truth serum, 383 00:16:57,860 --> 00:16:59,929 which is why I want one of those jumpsuits in an XL 384 00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:02,064 so I can feel like I belong. 385 00:17:02,164 --> 00:17:03,433 Oh! 386 00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:05,735 Where's my mom? 387 00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:07,370 Funny story, actually. 388 00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:10,906 Um, your mother hates me and this weekend so much 389 00:17:11,005 --> 00:17:13,376 that she is... in the walls. 390 00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:15,945 Classic Mommy. 391 00:17:16,044 --> 00:17:17,580 All right, I'll get her out. 392 00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:18,848 (yells) 393 00:17:18,947 --> 00:17:21,351 (sobbing) I can't do this. 394 00:17:21,451 --> 00:17:24,720 Well, then I have no choice. 395 00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:27,790 Mrs. Benson, I'm coming for you! 396 00:17:27,889 --> 00:17:29,058 You can depend on me! 397 00:17:29,158 --> 00:17:32,395 MRS. BENSON: I can hear you slouching. 398 00:17:33,529 --> 00:17:34,730 Oh, the crawlspace. 399 00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:36,065 Carly, your claustrophobia. 400 00:17:36,165 --> 00:17:39,335 Grease up my shoulders, I am going in. 401 00:17:40,636 --> 00:17:43,873 (hyperventilating) 402 00:17:48,444 --> 00:17:51,714 Come to Toledo, get together, flip a house, 403 00:17:51,814 --> 00:17:54,016 have a few laughs... 404 00:17:55,351 --> 00:17:58,087 Bruce Willis, you damn national treasure, 405 00:17:58,187 --> 00:18:02,224 how the hell did you make it look so easy? 406 00:18:02,324 --> 00:18:04,360 (moaning) 407 00:18:05,395 --> 00:18:06,462 Aah! 408 00:18:06,562 --> 00:18:09,331 Oh, yippee-ki-yay, Freddie's mother. 409 00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:11,701 Thank God you're okay! 410 00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:14,570 Oh, look. I went into my safe space, 411 00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,739 and you ran in and took over. 412 00:18:16,839 --> 00:18:18,774 Classic Carly. 413 00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:20,576 Enough. 414 00:18:20,676 --> 00:18:22,845 We both love Freddie so much. 415 00:18:22,945 --> 00:18:24,847 We should be on the same team. 416 00:18:24,947 --> 00:18:27,483 Freddie and I were a team. 417 00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:28,751 But ever since you showed up, 418 00:18:28,851 --> 00:18:30,453 it's like he put me on the bench. 419 00:18:30,553 --> 00:18:32,488 I hate sports. 420 00:18:34,890 --> 00:18:37,359 I never really looked at it that way. 421 00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,360 (loud thumping) 422 00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:40,496 Carly, that's so loud. 423 00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:44,700 Marissa! I will get you out of there! 424 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:45,868 I see a saw. 425 00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:48,871 Could someone saw off my feet?! 426 00:18:48,971 --> 00:18:50,640 How did you guys find us? 427 00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:52,274 I texted Dad. 428 00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:54,614 When Emily wasn't looking, I took a crack at her lockbox. 429 00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:57,580 The code was 1234. 430 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,248 Simple pimple indeed. 431 00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:02,084 Wait, you got to our phones? 432 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,486 I could've called Julien 433 00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:05,621 and told him how to get a bottle of water. 434 00:19:05,721 --> 00:19:07,490 Don't challenge my methods. 435 00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:08,491 I'm the hero. 436 00:19:08,591 --> 00:19:12,194 I'm the real hero! 437 00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:18,601 I bet you hate me now more than ever. 438 00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:20,169 I don't hate you, Carly. 439 00:19:20,269 --> 00:19:24,940 I just hate change, especially when it comes to Freddie. 440 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,376 Also, I truly hate your posture. 441 00:19:27,477 --> 00:19:32,414 But I can't believe you crawled into the wall for me. 442 00:19:32,515 --> 00:19:34,216 Both because of your claustrophobia 443 00:19:34,316 --> 00:19:37,219 and your obvious character flaws. 444 00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:41,491 Of course I did. I love Team Benson. 445 00:19:41,591 --> 00:19:44,560 And I'm always going to be your biggest cheerleader. 446 00:19:45,595 --> 00:19:49,699 And maybe someday, I'll be a Benson, too. 447 00:19:49,799 --> 00:19:51,467 - Mm. - Sorry. 448 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,836 Yeah, I-I shouldn't have said that. 449 00:19:53,936 --> 00:19:55,838 Could you just keep that between us? 450 00:19:55,938 --> 00:19:58,173 What happens in the wall stays in the wall. 451 00:19:58,273 --> 00:20:00,876 But if you think he's marrying Little Miss Scoliosis, 452 00:20:00,976 --> 00:20:03,679 you've had a bit too much grenadine. 453 00:20:03,779 --> 00:20:06,015 Yeah, let's get out of here. 454 00:20:07,349 --> 00:20:10,119 I think we've had enough truth. 455 00:20:10,219 --> 00:20:13,322 How about some hammer? 456 00:20:16,892 --> 00:20:18,994 (grunting) 457 00:20:20,796 --> 00:20:23,398 Here's Mommy! 458 00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:25,467 (crashing) 459 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,304 Hey! 460 00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:33,475 Your girlfriend faced her worst fears to rescue me. 461 00:20:33,576 --> 00:20:35,477 Classic Carly. 462 00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:38,480 Oh, my favorite girls, get in here. 463 00:20:38,581 --> 00:20:39,849 Carly, Mom, Millicent! 464 00:20:39,949 --> 00:20:41,584 I'm a'ight. 465 00:20:41,684 --> 00:20:43,252 Well, ladies, 466 00:20:43,352 --> 00:20:45,420 this house looks even worse than when you started. 467 00:20:45,521 --> 00:20:47,322 I'm glad you found a passel of men to help, 468 00:20:47,422 --> 00:20:49,759 because at the pace you're going, 469 00:20:49,859 --> 00:20:51,093 you'll be in Ohio for months 470 00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:53,462 to fulfill the terms of your contract. 471 00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:55,003 I'd like to talk about your little... 472 00:20:55,030 --> 00:20:56,766 employment contract. 473 00:20:56,866 --> 00:21:00,035 Oh, snap, it's his lawyer voice. 474 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,673 I perused your contract and it fails to address 475 00:21:03,773 --> 00:21:07,009 the fact that Ohio is an at-will employment state. 476 00:21:07,109 --> 00:21:08,678 - But they signed... - Which means... 477 00:21:08,778 --> 00:21:12,648 an employee may quit their job at any time for any reason. 478 00:21:12,748 --> 00:21:15,751 Regardless of a contact. 479 00:21:15,851 --> 00:21:17,620 Tell her, Pop Pop. 480 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,591 So, unless you'd like to face charges of kidnapping, fraud, 481 00:21:21,691 --> 00:21:24,994 then I suggest you refund these ladies' money 482 00:21:25,094 --> 00:21:26,929 and never speak of this again. 483 00:21:27,763 --> 00:21:28,998 (yelps) 484 00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:32,735 (cheering) 485 00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:34,670 Yeah! 486 00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:37,239 The bride cried, we took shots... 487 00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:40,042 I came to rescue you and you rescued my mom. 488 00:21:40,142 --> 00:21:41,711 Bruce Willis could never. 489 00:21:41,811 --> 00:21:42,878 Mm. 490 00:21:42,978 --> 00:21:45,380 Ooh, and someone made out. 491 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,218 With their boyfriend. Still counts. We did it, Joe. 492 00:21:49,318 --> 00:21:50,786 Ooh! 493 00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:52,688 ? ? 494 00:21:52,788 --> 00:21:55,057 - ? Y'all ready for this ? - Oh, my God! 495 00:21:55,157 --> 00:21:56,792 (screaming) 496 00:21:56,892 --> 00:21:59,795 ? ? 497 00:22:01,096 --> 00:22:08,237 ? This is The Paul Show and I am Paul ? 498 00:22:08,337 --> 00:22:09,772 Welcome back to Paul or Nothing. 499 00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:12,808 Today, respected doorman- turned-lawyer Lewbert Sline 500 00:22:12,908 --> 00:22:15,410 is gonna show us how to make his famous Lewb Juice. 501 00:22:15,510 --> 00:22:19,649 Step one. Warm cough syrup, 502 00:22:19,749 --> 00:22:24,286 boiled in the mouth of an active volcano. 503 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:29,759 Step two. Some nice, expired nut milk. 504 00:22:29,859 --> 00:22:32,795 And I don't mean almonds. 505 00:22:32,895 --> 00:22:35,230 That's my man. 506 00:22:36,365 --> 00:22:38,500 You're welcome, Internet. 507 00:22:44,039 --> 00:22:46,075 ? ? 508 00:23:08,063 --> 00:23:09,965 Ooh! 509 00:23:10,065 --> 00:23:12,067 ? ? 510 00:23:12,117 --> 00:23:16,667 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0